So after the ride today, Rob and I were yakking back and forth about MORE’s group rides. There’s a big kerfuffle going on over there on the boards about how they’re sometimes misleading, or how ride leaders don’t give out the correct info about a ride. Basically, it (seemed to) stem from Pete mentioning that a couple of noobs showed up at a group ride at the Furnace, and spoiling the day for all involved. (The noobs had a nightmare, as would I trying to ride EF, and the folks who knew what to expect ended up having to wipe said noobs’ arses around a single loop, rather than booking it around twice.) I saw Pete’s post about the ride, and (as usual) thought his description of the ride was spot on, but then started thinking to myself “Well, do I think it’s spot on because I’ve been around MORE for over a year now, and know the lingo? Would someone new to the area/sport/boards realize that a ‘moderate’ ride is really more of a lungbuster for the less fit folks like myself?”

Rob felt the same way, it seemed. He made a very good point that within MORE there seemed to be two types of rider – the seasoned vets like Pete, Joe, Ricky et al, who can eat the Furnace for breakfast, and the more casual riders like he and myself. As such, he made the point that he was going to start up the MPVC – MORE Pokey Velo Club – to give the enthusiast rider a safe haven to pedal slowly, work on skills and fitness in a non-pressure setting. Great idea! God bless Pete, and the other “serious” riders, but this lets them do their haring around at 500mph thing, without having to worry about trailers, and lets… portlier, less skilled folks like me work on their thang, until such time as we can hang on the rougher rides.

Anyways. We’ll see if something comes of it. I hope it does, cause I think it’s something that’ll get me in the saddle more. Until then, I need food…

There’s something about me and riding that’s not gelling. It’s not like a soccer game – when the Cats, Rovers, Adepts, or whoever have a game, I move heaven and earth to make sure I’m there for it. When it comes to riding, I seem to look for an excuse to not make it. I have no issue blowing off work for a game, but not for the Wakefield rides (although getting out there by 6:30 is just impossible for me).

I think it’s because I suck. Seriously – when it comes to soccer, I’m good. I more than hold my own, and I’m an important part of the teams I’m on. When it comes to riding, I’m a newbie. A novice. And I don’t like that feeling – so I’m in a catch 22 situation. I’m not going to get better until I ride more, and I don’t like riding as much, since I’m not that good. I figured that spending a whole LOT of money on a bike would change my motivation, but… not really.

Time to take your thumb out of your arse, boyo.

So today, I bailed out of work, donned my gear, and loaded my way too shiny new Turner on the roof to meet up with Rob, Pat, Barb, and a few others, to check out the trails at Shaeffer Farms for the first time. Here’s Ike, pre ride. She will, I have decided, never look this shiny again:

I’d warned the folks I was riding with that it was my first time on a bike in a few months, and that the pace was going to be extremely pokey, but even I was aghast at how badly I sucked. Granted, I’d been off my feet for 2 months now with stress fractures in my left foot, but I figured the time spend in the gym would at least compensate SOMEWHAT. Not the case. About 4 miles in, I RAPIDLY lost my energy and wind. Just about made it around the white loop, with Dave wiping my backside all the way, before I let the others ride on. Limping back to the parking lot, I felt pretty damned low.

But more resolved to ride more now.

Speaking of Dave, here he is rockin’ the log stunts out there…

Well, the RP3 showed up… although the reducers weren’t all the way in, and it kinda looks like it was returned (scuff marks on the underside) but for the price I got it for… shouldn’t really sniff. Using the rubber mallet, I tapped the reducers flush, busted out the torx 8 wrench, and within 5 minutes, had the Manitou out, and the RP3 in. That Manitou’s gonna have to go on the market at some point, but for now, I just REALLY need to get out and ride. Think I’ll skip work tomorrow and head somewhere…

In response to my post in the debate about rider and trail descriptions, a Mr. Jon Walsh posted this parody. It is, in my opinion, the funniest thing I have ever read.

Self-rating system: Draft #2

Quote:

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(Note: This is meant to make light of our shared mental affliction, i.e. mountain biking. My intention is NOT to belittle this highly constructive thread.)

Level One
You are able to ride smoothly in a straight line without wobbling. Like a normal human being, you stopped riding over curbs at full speed at the age of thirteen. You don’t see why anyone would need more than one mountain bike. At this point in your development, it is recommended that you stop mountain biking immediately, while you can still be cured.
Suggested Trails: C&O Canal Towpath

Level Two
You are comfortable using your bike on smooth, flat, surfaces, such as the C&O Towpath and the W&OD Trail, but you are told you have limited or no experience “offroad.” This is strange, since you may view the C&O canal as “offroad.” You still need to dismount to clear obstacles, since your judgement is intact. You are prone to rational thoughts such as “someone should do something about all those logs on the trail,” and are still able to percieve the fringe possibility of severe trauma as the result of a crash. It is possible at this stage to transition towards becoming a roadie or tri-geek, allowing you to keep your old friends and remain a respected member of society.
Suggested Trails: Burke Lake

Level Three
You are practiced on riding entry level trails at a smooth pace, and have begun lifting your front wheel on the fly, to negotiate smaller logs and obstacles. Your rear rim exhibits several flat spots and a wobble under braking from said smaller logs and obstacles. (It is still in better shape than your posterior, however.) You are also practiced at falling: over the bars, to each side, and into stationary objects; you can hug a tree like it’s your job. You have learned how to change pinch flats, and are starting to think that it might be good to learn how to avoid them. You have fallen conspicuously at least once in a parking lot, while a friend has been trying to teach you how to bunny hop. Strangely, clipless pedals don’t seem quite as insane to you as they did a few months ago. You are a Registered User on MORE’s site, and are known visually to at least one LBS employee. Your friends have staged an intervention, and given you up for lost.
Suggested Trails: Cedarville, Cabin John

Level Four
You can comfortably negotiate dips and crossings, as well as clear basic obstacles like 6-8 inch logs. You should now be trying to “choose the correct line” when heading in and out of turns. You should also be trying to choose which components you will upgrade first. You size up companions’ bikes based on their rear derailleur and whether they have disc brakes. You now troll the MORE site on a daily basis, and feel a personal attachment to people you only know by their screennames. You tell people you are a mountain biker, but you promise yourself you will never be seen in public wearing lycra shorts. You are now clinically incurable.
Suggested Trails: Wakefield, Rosaryville

Level Five
You’re comfortable with steeper descents, stream crossings and small rock gardens. You typically clear them by charging through on another rider’s wheel, having your internal organs rearranged as you bounce around, and whispering a small prayer (“Holy &*^$!!”) as you regain your balance on the far side. At this point, you should be able to negotiate the trails at Wakefield without incident or dismounting. You SHOULD be able to do this, but never actually do. Instead of accepting this fact as part of the sport, you blame it on a curse. Or hubris. Or a golf ball. You know half a dozen MORE regulars on a first-name basis, and suddenly, you think you might need to have a singlespeed in your garage. You know what it feels like to bonk.
Suggested Trails: Wakefield, Fountainhead

Level Six
You have multi-trail experience, and have seen some STRANGE-ass failure modes out of your aluminum hardtail. Your elastomer fork has exploded mid-ride, or your freehub has disintegrated on an uphill, leaving you spinning frantically as you toppled over sideways. AND you have resurrected that @&^$ bike time and again with the help of a LBS mechanic and the inspiration of Sheldon Brown. (Sheldon is the inspiration, but he’s thick and sometimes arcane. If you want the straight poo on repairs, you PM BikerMiker or Peter Beers.) It’s time for a new bike. You probably need something with an LX drivetrain and more durable bearing surfaces. You WANT either a Ti 29er or a completely tricked out dually. You’ve thought seriously about getting both. If you are home on a Thursday night or Saturday morning, your spouse/significant other looks at you funny and wonders if you’re OK. You catch yourself measuring your self-esteem in green dots.
Suggested Trails: Gambrill, Schaeffer Farms

Level Seven
You’re familiar with the majority of the trails in the area, and can comfortably negotiate them without dismounting. Your aerobic fitness level has let you tag along with a group you weren’t 100% sure you could hang with. You pretended it was no big deal. You had a firm budget for your new ride, and came home with something three times as expensive. As ridiculous as it is, you are already thinking about your next bike. Constantly. You think maybe you’ll get lucky at the annual MORE party. You may commute to work. You offer advice and opinions to newer riders, and can repair a flat in under three minutes. You have been picked up by a friend/spouse/significant other after a long night at Kilroy’s. Or you elected to ride your bike home. You’ve been wearing spandex for a long time now, and you like the way you look in bib shorts. Your icon on the MORE website is a picture of yourself riding.
Suggested Trails: Elizabeth Furnace, Gambrill

Level Eight
You have mastered all of the local trails. You should be a MORE ride leader. You are comfortable enough to make online digs at RickyD, and you may have seen SG’s alleged whip. You race. You bring your own Pulaski to service days, and may become emotional while talking about specific TTFs. Your collection of ’spare parts’ includes a minumum of two frames and three complete build kits. If it snows, you ride a fixed gear. You have been picked up by the cops after a long night at Kilroy’s. You have used more than three different pedal systems in your career. None of them is good enough.
Suggested Trails: Elizabeth Furnace, Buzzard Rocks

Level Nine
You’ve cast your eye to the West, and have checked out Slickrock, Colorado, Fruita, and Moab. You have sold every bike you own, for a rigid steel singlespeed that you exclusively use on any terrain. You regularly school younger people on XC racing rigs, and then reminisce about the times when you were in better shape. Your HID system costs $200 more than your first mountain bike. You have A LOT of little green dots, and don’t take much note of it, since your status also periodically earns you flak from the proletarians. At this point, your spouse/significant other has either left you or taken up the sport. You own a headset press.
Suggested Trails: Colorado, Sierra Nevadas, Utah

Level Ten
After living on Accellerade and Clif Bars, you have acheived total cycling enlightenment. You have broken a spoke and replaced it with a hair from your head. You fix flats by looking at them. You sweat chain lube, spit bearing grease, and dismount only to sleep. Your bike comes to you when you whistle, and your Camelbak never runs out of beer. Further descripion would be foolish.
Suggested Trails: Anywhere you want to ride

So for the first time, I checked out City Bikes in Chevy Chase to attend the informal maintenance classes put on by Mike, manager of the store, and MORE member/patron. This was pretty much an introductory dealie, not really a class, but more a case of watching Mike assemble his new uberbling – an extremely sexy carbon Stumpjumper (gotta love prodeals!) – while he explains the processes involved. Met some new MORE folks while I was there, and managed to pick up one or two new wrench tricks and tips. A good evening, even though it ran a little longer than anticipated, meaning most of us had to leg it before the build was over, but it bodes well for the series. Especially since there was considerable brew on hand.

City Bikes is a cool shop, staffed by cool people. I plan on spending my cash there, you should too. (I like the way I’m talking to folks, even though nobody knows this blog exists, hehe.)

Everyone’s blogging. I even tried it once, about two years ago. Thanks to the fact I’m cursed with a short attention span, however, I couldn’t be arsed keeping it updated, and it died after 2-3 posts. But… spurred on by some of the folks on MORE, and the fact that I’m working on a blog for the wedding site (yes, wedding site!) I’m resurrecting this thing. It’s not about bikes though, it’s about whatever the hell is on my mind.

Not that there won’t be some bike stuff too.

But first, I have to delete all the old posts. Hey, I was single then, and most of them were rants about the DC dating scene. Which, if you’re a part of, I’m sorry. I’m really, really sorry. You should try something less excruitiating, like trapping your nuts in a vice.

Or something.